Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Footlong Or, Dreaming in Touchscreen

Thank You Charlie Hodge.  Looking forward to your next podcast gave me the strength that was required to make it through the 10 minutes of harp playing that I had to endure (during chemotherapy mind you) in order to download your podcast “footlong”.  Very ironically, it took the exact same amount of time to download this podcast as it took to receive my 10 minute “free” (fairly exchanged? for the price of 14 months of chemotherapy) foot massage that I believe was given as a consolation to being subject to the mandatory harp music….again.  Someone please remind me to buy the more well fitted ear buds next time.  I can still hear the harp.
Do you think it is wrong that I got irritated with the harpist that she not only played her harp, when it was clear that all us cancer survivors had pretty much anything else to do, she also had the audacity to Tune her harp on site at the Cancer center.   Isn’t it enough that she must steal precious moments with the actual harp playing, but to TUNE the thing as well.  Come On!

One of the side effects of cancer treatment that I struggle with is that I have trouble sleeping due to having Hotflashes…Many Hotflashes….upwards of 10-15 a night that wake me up.  These require covers OFF and Fan ON in order to recover.   These Hotflashes are caused by the Tamoxifen which has put me back into Menopause.  This extremely interrupted sleep makes feeling rested at the end of a night difficult.  It also makes having complete dreams rare.  I have, however, found that I’ve now begun dreaming in “Touch Screen”. When I wake up at night I note that I’ve been moving things around in my dreams, as if on my iPhone touch screen. Very possibly all of you have been experiencing this for years, since the explosion of the internet, but I did not have a computer easily available to me for internet access for several years. Then, suddenly I got cancer.  With cancer came the desire to move forward on the technology front, and the courage to face my husband with a $100 per month phone bill. This has changed my life.  I am more complete. Thank you Cancer.
I remember when I was in High School, taking French, I would at times go out with my friend Allison W.  (Hey Allison, it would be great to hear from you.  Unfortunately I’m not on Facebook, and the one time I tried to contact you by email, it didn’t work) and we would speak French for the better part of a night out.  It was fun.  I would also find myself dreaming in French.  During one period in my life when I was dating Ruben (Hey Ruben! So glad things are going so well for you and your family) whose family often spoke Spanish, I was learning Spanish, and began dreaming in Spanish.   Severely broken Spanish, mind you, but some of it must have sunken in because years later when I was traveling in Mexico, where no one spoke English, Richie was surprised at how well I communicated in Spanish despite never having taken a Spanish class. I remember my Dad used to tell me that when you began to dream in a language, it meant that you were really learning it or integrating it.  I suppose I do believe that.  It seems pretty apparent, now with this touch screen dreaming.   At this point I might argue that it might also be because you “believe” that you are learning it.   Funny though, when I was in Vietnam and Thailand, I don’t ever remember dreaming in Vietnamese or Thai. There, I remember dreaming about having actual conversations with people in English.  I remember missing the sound of the English Language. I remember years after Thailand, when Richie was racing and spending hours and hours on his bike, he would wake me up at night CYCLING!  Yes, he would be pedaling, as if in a final sprint.
I remember also that when I was a child I would have flying dreams. There is nothing better than a flying dream.  My father used to tell me that only special people had flying dreams.  My father was quite a dreamer in many ways.  Anyway, that’s why I thought it so appropriate when we threw his ashes out of that airplane.  I think he loved that.  I haven’t had flying dreams in years.

 I have however, had some running dreams, like Richie’s Cycling dreams, that are pretty similar to flying dreams.  I was having those back when I was training for the Austin Marathon, and again when I was thick into trail running.  It has been a while since I’ve had those and I feel that I'll be truly  "back", in terms of training, when they return.

Hmm, I wonder where this comes from??

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1 comment:

  1. Oye, harp music during chemo? And dreaming in touchscreen? Sounds like you are in serious need of a vacation.