"Tit Party"

I'm calling this post "Tit Party" in honor of my situation, my desire to party, and my favorite tweet during this time period from @robdelaney:  "Don't judge a book by its cover.  Unless it's cover says 'Tit Party', because that's probably an awesome book".  

(Thank you @robdelaney, @jewerstein,@juliusharp, @JennyJohnsonHi5, @iamenidcoleslaw, and many other comedy writers, at least half of which were women,  for keeping me entertained during my recovery.)

This 10 week "Tit Party" since my Bilateral DIEP Breast reconstruction surgery on April 12th, has been interesting, and mostly cool, yet, possibly not as fun as the title suggests.  There has not been a whole lot of partying, but there HAS been quite a lot of required dressing changes. (Not the cool kind like in a play, or when you are getting ready to go out). Mostly wounds and nipple sponges.   There's been extreme abdominal tightness and difficulty finding comfortable sleeping positions.  There's been patience required by everyone involved:  On my part with being unable to run or exercise like I'd like, unable to hold Adaline, and unable to swim or submerge in water, on Ace's part for having to go "Soft" on Mommy for so long, and on Richie and Adaline's parts with my being unable to lift or dress Adaline for the better part of 10 weeks, or do many of the normal "Mommy" duties.  There have also been some interesting changes, or improvements.  Most obviously, I am no longer lopsided!  My new breasts, while not completely finished (areolas to be tattooed in August) already look better in most ways than the ones I had before.  (Not the 21 year old ones....the 42 year old ones :).  My abs, while ridiculously weak, are certainly flat!.  My hair has grown, and I can now push it behind my ears.  We have all learned some patience and gratitude, and we've made strides in our relationships in our family. During my "hibernation"  I've developed in other ways too. I've had the chance to learn and understand what Twitter is all about, and now I "know stuff".  Go ahead, lay a timeline joke on me and just see if I don't get it!    Also, Richie's band Downtube Shifter's EP Accelerando! is now available in downloadable format online on Band Camp or through their new website www.downtubeshiftertheband.com  (Ya'll are welcome. Seriously, it's fun building websites for other people for free.  JK, LOL, It's not really.).

But, with all of that mostly behind me now, I can see the sparkling lights shining from the disco ball!   All of the stitches were removed from the abdominal incision and the breasts on Monday....except for the cotton stitches that are actually IN the nipples in order to help create more scar tissue (to give the nipples more attitude, if you will).  I am now allowed to lift Adaline, and I am physically able to do so using good body mechanics.  My abs are severely weak, but that is just a  matter of time (and ab crunches...formerly squish-ups).   I am returning to work TOMORROW!-Yikes! I am planning on attempting a short jog maybe this weekend, or early next week.  I will be reentering the world of.... reality?  Gone will be the days of sitting on my couch and staring into space, or wondering what my 38...39  "Tweeps" are up to. In my case...accounts that I FOLLOW. I'm gonna miss them, but I'll be glad to see my old real life friends again.  (Real life friends, ya'll might need to communicate with me in 140 character joke format with me for awhile while I transition).  

I have approximately 17 weeks until the ING NY Marathon.  1 week to base train :) 16 weeks to train....let's see if I can pull this off?  That's 4 months.  I was able to prepare for almost twice that distance (50 miler), in 7 months starting at zero after Chemo, Mastectomy and Radiation! I think I can do it!!  All I need to do is raise at least $1,050.00 more!  I'm more that 2/3 the way to my fundraising minimum of 3,500.00 in order to run with @FredsTeam.  Please understand that I am even more passionate about raising this money for research since the recent passing of a friend of mine who had ovarian cancer. Nine weeks ago, the doctor's thought she would be fine.  If you are considering supporting cancer research, and my dream to run the NYC marathon with a donation, please do so here:

http://mskcc.convio.net/site/TR/FredsTeamEvents/Freds_Team?px=2099537&pg=personal&fr_id=1730


I'm looking forward to getting out and seeing everyone again.
Emily

Also, look forward to  "Boob deBub" party announcement.

"All boobies are a trap."  @JewyJewerstein

Looking Forward. With Headlights On.

                    Darn, I wish I would have worn make-up.  Well, I guess it goes with my Ultrarunner Image :).

 Tomorrow morning I'm scheduled for my revision surgery.  The plastic surgeon will be doing a simple Left Breast Lift, first.  This is necessary because during the reconstruction, it was most important that they were able to build a right breast basically from nothing, or nothing that had been radiated.  Also, it's a bit complicated, but in order to monitor the tissue that was added to the left, they had to use a larger flap and put more tissue in the breast due to the size of the monitor??  I think maybe that is what the surgeon told me just in case I wanted to go "larger" on the right later, but....anyway, it is lower and it needs to come up :).  

They will also be surgically revising the abdominal scar...cutting out the part that is not healed on the abdominal incision and glueing it back together again.  Then,  there's the last minute addition to the surgery, which is the attachment of nipples.  Initially, they had told me that I would need to wait for that procedure, but now, it seems we are going forward with that too. (Hopefully, in the SAME direction, if you know what I mean). I have, of course, had some second thoughts about this addition, since going bra-less lately has been a benefit I have little experience with.  But, I decided to go ahead and do it because it will be interesting to see how real they can make these things look, and I read somewhere ( @JennyJohnsonHi5 ) that you get more followers on twitter if you have nipples.  I have 10 followers now, so we'll see. 

As far as the surgery, I guess I'm pretty ready.  I've got mixed feelings, as is usual and customary for me.  On one hand I am very ready to look forward.   On the other hand, I still feel pain for those who are facing new challenges, and I still have fears for myself regarding the potential of the return of Cancer.  I have read and heard that this fear is commmon, and obviously not unrealistic.  I want to look forward, but not with blinders.  I want to be able to fully and without hesitation, jump back to life with all the thrills and difficulties it may bring.  I want to return to living in the moment without distraction, while at the same time, seeing completely all that surrounds me.  

Since my last blog I've attempted running 3 times.  Alone, because it is NOT pretty.  I'm up to 3 miles :).  The legs feel fine.  The abdomen is No good.  This first attempt at jogging was born out of necessity (we were out of town and there was no bike available), and somwhat of a "what the hell" attitude on my part ever since they said they were going to surgically repair the abdomen.  It felt good to test the legs and see that they can still do it.  I'll be back to 2 weeks off running starting tomorrow, so the nipples don't jiggle off, then  hopefully I'll be back at it and preparing for the NYC MARATHON!

Fundraising for my participation in the NYC Marathon with Fred's Team which supports cancer research at Memorial Sloan Ketterling is going VERY WELL!  I'm over HALF WAY!  Thank you ALL who have donated. For those who want to support and have the means, please don't be shy!  Any amount is Appreciated! Here is the link to my donation site:

http://mskcc.convio.net/site/TR/FredsTeamEvents/Freds_Team?px=2099537&pg=personal&fr_id=1730

Oh Yes, If you want a sneek peek of the "finished product", prior to the Boob deBub party planned in late August,  I'll be at the next Downtube Shifter Rock show which is Thursday June 14th at 5:30pm-7:00 pm Happy Hour show at the Carousel Lounge off 52nd St.!
www.downtubeshiftertheband.com

Emily  or  Pow Howell @BallotableTWTs if yer interested :).