Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Looking Forward. With Headlights On.

                    Darn, I wish I would have worn make-up.  Well, I guess it goes with my Ultrarunner Image :).
 Tomorrow morning I'm scheduled for my revision surgery.  The plastic surgeon will be doing a simple Left Breast Lift, first.  This is necessary because during the reconstruction, it was most important that they were able to build a right breast basically from nothing, or nothing that had been radiated.  Also, it's a bit complicated, but in order to monitor the tissue that was added to the left, they had to use a larger flap and put more tissue in the breast due to the size of the monitor??  I think maybe that is what the surgeon told me just in case I wanted to go "larger" on the right later, but....anyway, it is lower and it needs to come up :).  

They will also be surgically revising the abdominal scar...cutting out the part that is not healed on the abdominal incision and glueing it back together again.  Then,  there's the last minute addition to the surgery, which is the attachment of nipples.  Initially, they had told me that I would need to wait for that procedure, but now, it seems we are going forward with that too. (Hopefully, in the SAME direction, if you know what I mean). I have, of course, had some second thoughts about this addition, since going bra-less lately has been a benefit I have little experience with.  But, I decided to go ahead and do it because it will be interesting to see how real they can make these things look, and I read somewhere ( @JennyJohnsonHi5 ) that you get more followers on twitter if you have nipples.  I have 10 followers now, so we'll see. 
As far as the surgery, I guess I'm pretty ready.  I've got mixed feelings, as is usual and customary for me.  On one hand I am very ready to look forward.   On the other hand, I still feel pain for those who are facing new challenges, and I still have fears for myself regarding the potential of the return of Cancer.  I have read and heard that this fear is commmon, and obviously not unrealistic.  I want to look forward, but not with blinders.  I want to be able to fully and without hesitation, jump back to life with all the thrills and difficulties it may bring.  I want to return to living in the moment without distraction, while at the same time, seeing completely all that surrounds me.  
Since my last blog I've attempted running 3 times.  Alone, because it is NOT pretty.  I'm up to 3 miles :).  The legs feel fine.  The abdomen is No good.  This first attempt at jogging was born out of necessity (we were out of town and there was no bike available), and somwhat of a "what the hell" attitude on my part ever since they said they were going to surgically repair the abdomen.  It felt good to test the legs and see that they can still do it.  I'll be back to 2 weeks off running starting tomorrow, so the nipples don't jiggle off, then  hopefully I'll be back at it and preparing for the NYC MARATHON!

Fundraising for my participation in the NYC Marathon with Fred's Team which supports cancer research at Memorial Sloan Ketterling is going VERY WELL!  I'm over HALF WAY!  Thank you ALL who have donated. For those who want to support and have the means, please don't be shy!  Any amount is Appreciated! Here is the link to my donation site:

Oh Yes, If you want a sneek peek of the "finished product", prior to the Boob deBub party planned in late August,  I'll be at the next Downtube Shifter Rock show which is Thursday June 14th at 5:30pm-7:00 pm Happy Hour show at the Carousel Lounge off 52nd St.!

Emily  or  Pow Howell @BallotableTWTs if yer interested :).

1 comment:

  1. Wait, did I read that last paragraph right? You're attracting fans to see Richie's band by promising to take your shirt off?! ;)