Cancer. Competetive Edge. Catharsis. Climax. Contentment.

Those of you who've followed this blog with any consistency probably remember me blogging about my first race back into running since before: "you have cancer".  That race was back on December 10th 2011.  At that point I remember feeling the "Greyhound in the Gate" feeling that some runners might feel before a big race. Ready to run, ready to kick ass.  So ready to get back to running, feeling good, and living life. That race was was supposed to be a training run that I was just going out to do to see the land and to run a supported long run.  As you may remember, I ended up mostly racing, and doing pretty well overall. 10th female and 2nd age group which is difficult to do especially for a 25 K which usually brings more runners and faster runners.  Then there was the Bandera 50K. AGAIN, SUPPOSEDLY a training run, which I had not tapered for.  I had run 26 miles the weekend before, and this was NOT my "A" Race. Yet, again, I found myself mostly "racing" the whole thing and doing pretty well overall. I believe 12th female.   Oh, yes, then merely weeks after that, I found myself ACTUALLY attempting to race the 3M half mararathon despite the fact that I had not been training to run fast, or at any type of even tempo.  In my own mind, and likely within the mind of any coach, this erratic racing and training behaviour would not be recommended if one wanted to do well at their "A" Race.  Even my Step Father who has been a marathoner in his past had sent me an email basically trying to remind me to be careful and keep my eye on the prize...the 50 miler....My "A" Race.....this thing I'd been mentally focused on, and blogging about, for oh, maybe about a year....Very good advice, and I agreed, yet continued these silly, out of control, acts.  None of these acts were really like me, or my former self.  It was just that I was somehow compelled to do it all.  Make up for lost time, etcetera.  I can't even say with certainty that I regret any of it.  I've had a great season.  I'm really only re-hashing all of this for a few reasons.  Firstly to bring you up to just before the 50 mile race and secondly to help you, and myself, better understand my mental state before and during the race.
 I mentioned in my past few posts how my left leg was bothering me and I wasn't really running.  I didn't really run much for the better part of the last 3 weeks.  2 short runs and 2 attempts at running that ended in calf spasms and foot pains not to mention feeling of weakness, and burning sensations down the back of my butt and thigh.  I opted for aquajogging which really just felt good.  I saw 2 doctors.  The first doctor thought it might be my iliopsoas muscle squeezing my sciatic nerve. I had a psoas release which did seem to help a bit.  Then my back did start bothering me a bit, so I went and saw another doctor who has more experience with multiple medical situations.  He felt that we should probably rule out something in my spine...including...Cancer.  Oh God.  My mother has back pain and some spinal stenosis, so I was thinking we should rule that out too?  During this time of visiting with doctors and aquajogging I had extra time unplanned/unexpected time to think, and had a few cathartic moments as I mentioned in my last post.  I had not planned on making any decisions regarding my reconstruction surgery until after the 50 miler.  I was planning on having visions regarding what I should do DURING the race.  Again, erratic, unplanned behavior and a resultant Pre-Mature Climax. Several days before the race, I had decided on my reconstruction plans, and had even scheduled the surgery for April 16th.  I decided to save the scheduling of the MRI until after the race.  At some point I had to begin to focus on making sure that I was standing there on the starting line, and that I would be able to complete what it was that I had started out to do.

Problem was....I had already finished.

I found myself standing there on the starting line, having already achieved my primary goals:  Return to life, get healthy, and make some hard decisions.  I still had one more thing to do though, and that was to complete this 50 miler.



 After the first lap of this 3 laps x 16.7 miles race, I realized that I would indeed make it to the finish line.  My leg and primarily my foot were bothering me, but nothing that a few bloody, then stubbed, toenails didn't end up masking.  I stayed with my friend Lisa for about 30 miles.  

 I felt OK.  Not great.  Then the unexpected happened again.  The Competetive Spirit Did NOT arrive this time. Only a feeling of contentment.  (Peppered with severe pain due to repeatedly stubbing my currently bloody, previously Taxol....Toenail).


 I felt happy.  I was alone in the woods on a beautiful day.

I was thinking about my beautiful family and my wonderful life.

 It just didn't seem important to me to kick anyone's ass at that point which is something very different for me, and even a bit "off the shelf", if you will. Like trying on a new pair of shoes. You "might" like it.   Somewhere around mile 38 I remember beginning to think... "This is not really my thing".  "I like Yoga".  I also remember thinking that I should keep running so that I could get back to the finish line sooner rather than later, to see my husband and friends who would be waiting there for me.

Tejas Trails Coach Joe Prusaitis

 Richie told me the day after the race that it was even slightly awkward for him when I crossed the finish line with people standing there cheering for a cancer survivor (me) who had just completed a 50 mile race and I was speaking very loudly..."This is not really my thing!" I just don't have the competetive spirit today!" 

Funny the things one will say after running 50 miles. 

Thank You to everyone who played a part in making this amazing weekend happen for me.  (Jenn).

"One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegrtion if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways."  --Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

In the Thick of It

Well I've now gone and done 2 things that were not exactly in my 50 mile training plan.  Two things that I am willing to mention, anyway. 
 

First, I signed up for the 3M 1/2 marathon which I will run on 1/29/12 for that last chance effort toward a NY marathon qualifier. And, speaking of “Last Chance”, now, I am also signed up for my beloved  Bandera 50K  trail race which is this weekend. (Note:  “Last Chance” is the name of the last rest stop at the end of the 50k race, 1/2 mile from the finish.  It would simply be silly for a person running the 50K to stop there, but I believe the history has to do with the 100k racers taking a shot of liquor, or something, there... silly trail runners J).

This past weekend on New Year’s Eve morning, I ran 26 miles.   I ran the 26 miles out at a park called McKinney Roughs with some good friends.  It was a beautiful day and couldn't have been a better way to wrap up this year. 

My Newest Running Buddy Jack, and myself, checking out the Map. But... check out the MOP.

My good friend Lisa on the Colorado River Bank with Steam.

Wow, have I come a long way this year!  Right now I would say that I'm truly "in the thick" of my running/training. This past week I ran my 26 mile long run, and a total of 54 for the week.  One year

ago at this exact time, I was in the thick of the chemotherapy.  Bald, weak and tired. Now I've got this huge alien sort of thick mop on my head and i'm getting physically pretty strong again.  

I’m running some long miles, and I’m physically able to have fun.   I remember last year taking a family trip to the coast around this time and I was actually afraid to go. I was afraid that I might drop Adaline while carrying her up or down the 16 steps to the house. I also knew that on days as full as a day at the coast could be with our 2 kids, I would get so worn out, that I would just feel like crying. 

We just got back from a 3 day trip to the coast. 

I thought this view was very cool because when i jogged up to it i literally could not tell where the ocean ended and the sky began. (Like in Forrest Gump).

I must have carried Adaline, who is at least 5 pounds heavier, up and down those 16 steps at least 5 times, lifted her on and off the boat, the bed, the chair, the car seat, and the floor, oh… 20 or so times and only once felt physically tired.   That was when I was idiotically attempting an 8 mile (+ 30 minutes of 2/1 fartlek) run, following a diet of fried fish and fried cream cheese jalapeños.) I did have one episode related to emotional fatigue when I over puréed one of Adaline’s meals to an indelible runny consistency.  But,  probably only someone who purees and feeds and cleans up puréed food containers 2-3 times a day for several years in a row, could really understand the upset that this could cause. (Jenn). Anyway, the point was that I felt great and had a great time, even if I do look sort of silly with the mop thing.  It’s funny that this trip is when I truly noticed the difference in my strength and energy levels, in life. 

For this weekends race, I am, once again, shooting for a good solid "race prep" run.  Race Prep for my “A” race, which is the  Nueces 50 Miler  on March 3rd. This weekend, at the 50K, I will try out some new race/running strategies and reassess some of the old.  I’m hoping to have fun and feel good.  I’m also hoping to be able to complete some sort of run on Sunday, and then slip seamlessly back into training, as usual on Tuesday, in order to continue my progression of fitness for the next 8 weeks.

For Your Entertainment... Introducing...   "Dancing Ace"....doing the "Bust and Freeze" to SAIL.

Twins

Twins

One thing I’ve enjoyed over the years about my job as a Physical Therapist has been getting to hear stories about people’s lives. This story recently really touched me.   The patient that I was working with was an 80 year old woman.  She was telling me about her life and that she had had 6 children.  She mentioned that she had only been pregnant 5 times, though, because the first pregnancy was twins, a boy and a girl.  She went on to say that the twins were dead now.  I did ask what had happened.  (Being that they were twins, one almost automatically begins to expect that they died from the same thing.)   My patient began with her daughter’s death.  She said…”My daughter had the breast cancer.  She had the mastectomy and the treatments, and she was doing very well for 2 or 3 years, but then it came back and got her.”  This story, as you can imagine, hit very close to home and really had me a bit freaked out for some time.  I did go on to inquire about her son.  She said…”He was killed in a car accident”.    I found myself putting myself in the shoes of each of these twins.  I felt what i thought would be their fear.  It was similar, yet different.  I found myself trying to figure out which twin I would have rather been.  Which death I would have chosen for myself?   I’ve since, come to no answer.  Honestly, neither is a pleasant thought.  The best I could do was come up with some pros and cons to each.  The major pro for the female twin was that she had had some warning of her potential fatality.  She possibly had a few years of knowing that life is short, and she may have taken that opportunity to live her life to the fullest. She also, later, had some time to say her goodbyes to family and friends and to let them know how much she loved them.  Potential cons being that she likely lived with some serious sadness and fear, as she knew that it would all eventually be coming to an end.  The male twin, on the contrary, may not have had the knowledge of his own mortality. He did not have the chance to say his goodbyes, yet was spared the sadness of seeing his own life fade.  He very possibly, however, had learned important lessons of living life through his twin’s experience.

I don’t really know why I spent so much time trying to decide which would be better or worse.   I do not usually sit around thinking about how I'd like to go.  I’m fighting to live, here.  I guess that my final thought is that any of us could find ourselves in the exact same shoes as either twin.  I even know of one person who recently had shoes of each.  A sister-in-law of one of my good friends had recently won her battle against breast cancer, and then was killed in an automobile accident.  

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.”           Carl Jung

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A man (woman) who lives fully is prepared to die any time.”    Mark Twain.

Here’s to living life to each life’s fullest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD1O2K6B30U

Nueces: I'm very excited.

Am I Back?

I’ve had several people ask me in the past week… “Are you back to running?”  Well, the answer, I guess, is yes.  I’m not AS BACK as I’d like to be, though.  I am struggling.  I’ve been having some difficulty being able to tell if it is the 105 degree weather here, my lower than normal red counts, or just being fat and out of shape (Breast Cancer weight and Post Chemo muscle atrophy) that is causing my struggles.  I’ve been working on the breast cancer weight and I’ve made some progress.  I’ve lost about 3 lbs.  I was working my A** off to eat a diet above and beyond healthy in order to get my red blood counts back up ($12 salads).  4 weeks ago, they were up a little (seemed to be a slow steady rise) but then last week they dipped back down to: RBCs = 3.27 (normal is 4.2-5.4), Hemoglobin = 10.7 (Normal is 12-16) and Hematocrit = 30.5 (Normal is 37-47).  The good news is that this time around my White Blood Cells were Normal at 5.2 with normal range being 4.8-10.8.  So, it is kind of odd or ironic that today, I am actually experiencing a fever/sore throat/illness due to some virus.   Am I back?  Today is a bad day to ask me that.  Ask me in 10 days.  This is how long I’ve got to get over this virus, and get my weekly running average up to 34 miles/week in order to start my 24 week training plan for the 50 mile trail run I want to do on March 3^rd.  My highest weekly mileage, yet, (since surgery) has been 30 (mostly trail miles, however).  That was one week ago, the week before my last Herceptin.  Last week during a down week, my calves began to flare up like they used to…Posterior Tibial Tendonitis, plus some gastroc issues.   September 19 is Day One of my 24 week training plan.   I just completed my spreadsheet for this training plan, and I’m going to tell you the truth, here.  I’m a bit concerned that I’m going to be cutting it pretty darn close and pushing the envelope on what is reasonable considering my medical situation.   Mind you, prior to cancer, when I was training for the Bandera 50K, my plan topped out at 62 miles/week and I commonly did 40-55....but that was before.  One bit of good news is that my Herceptin treatments should be over in the end of December, so I should have 8 solid weeks no chemo (except the daily oral Tamoxifen) before the race.  

Here is what the plan looks like: Click on link below :)

Nueces 50 miler Training Plan : Top 60 miles per week                                                

This is a rough draft, and I’m sure there will be some changes in the plan once I start up with

Tejas Trails.  I’m planning on starting up in October, once the weather cools down a bit more.

Besides being initially upset by my drop in RBC counts, the ensuing complications due to my initiation of iron pills in order to improve the red counts, contracting this irritating virus, and my inability to hold my alcohol, I’ve had a pretty darn good week.    You need to know that I did not take this decision to start taking iron pills lightly.  I’ve been holding out on taking iron, since, basically, the beginning of all of this treatment.  Despite being borderline anemic pretty much my whole life, I’ve never been able to tolerate taking iron pills.  I tried taking them when I was pregnant because I was trying to be a good parent, and I’ll just say that that plan ended with me spending 45 minutes in a friend’s bathroom, during a party, giving what I later called “practice birth” to something too hideous to describe. (Severe Constipation).    But, I’m desperate.  I know I need these counts back up to be able to run…especially up hills.  I plan to ask my physician if I can get a transfusion of my own blood, or EPO, or something, but I’m about 100% sure they won’t do it.  My counts are low, but just not critical according to a new friend of mine who is a chemo nurse. (I know, befriending the enemy….you know what they say…friends close….)  Maybe if I explain that it could become critical at mile 40 or so, they’ll listen.

This week, I had some great times.  It was a holiday weekend and I enjoyed a 4 day Staycation!!  My favorite band, Downtube Shifter, played on Friday night and I was able to go to the show.

Downtube Shifter
Next Show: Saturday October 1st  Carousel Lounge 10 PM!

Downtube Shifter Fans!

It was a late show, and here’s where my inability to hold my alcohol comes in.  It’s not that I drank very much.  On the contrary, actually.  I just don’t have the constitution, or the ability to process the alcohol, so I am a pretty cheap date.  I had a lot of fun on Friday night, but Saturday morning was not pleasant, except that Grammy and Dpo took the boy off to Houston for a 3 year old Princess Party, so we had a quiet day.  I think maybe in some ways it was a good thing to have suffered a bit as a reminder that I need to be putting as few toxins in this body as possible, especially once my 24 week plan starts.  

Saturday afternoon, Richie and I got to go out again, together, onto a party Barge on Lake Austin for a couple of my friends’ birthday party.  It was a blast hanging out with my friends from the Outpatient department! and the weather and sunset were beautiful. 

Awesome Chicks of Outpatient!

This time I paced myself and was able to get up the next morning to complete my 5 mile trail jog on Sunday.  Monday was Labor Day and for the first time in about 3 months the temperature dropped below 74 degrees overnight.  It was awesome.  That morning I got to go out to my beloved Hill of Life and run 7 miles with my good friend, and the temperature was between 75 and 78 degrees and not humid.   It was beautiful, and I did not feel like total F****** S*** during the whole run. I actually had fun.  Progress.  Monday afternoon I enjoyed a wonderful nap, and then some of our close friends came over for a barbeque and fish fry and we got to play outside with the kids and enjoy just being out, for the first time in Months!  What a perfect day!

Austin Running Groups Provide

Many of you are already aware that the article in Austin Fit Magazine came out this month. 
It is a pretty good article, despite my personal let down in a couple of areas.  Foremost, being that the hard copy magazine of the article incorrectly named one of my road running coaches as the coach my trail group, and left out the trail running coach, and my trail running friends all together. Sorry guys!  I was dissapointed also, that the girl who interviewed me said that the article that i wrote would actually be in the magazine.  It wasn't, but some quotes were taken from it.  The article was incorrect when it said that i did not miss any Tuesdays in the 24 week period of chemo, except once for the flu.  It is true that I only missed one Tuesday due to the flu during the 12 weeks of Taxol treatment, but I definately missed 1-2 Tuesdays each 3 week period during the 12 weeks of every 3 Week Adriamycin, Cytoxin treatment. Some weeks I could barely walk by the first Tuesday after treatment. I believe I did make it to at least every 3rd Tuesday, though.  Part of my being able to miss the least amount possible was due to how I had arranged my schedule. Due to the fact that me making it to these workouts was a priority, I actually scheduled my chemo on Tuesday mornings.... After my runs. So, Tuesdays would mostly land the furthest point from any treatment.

Here is the article I had written back in January and sent in to Austin Fit Magazine.   I had hoped they would publish this article as a way to thank everyone involved in these awesome running groups, promote these inspirational coaches, and to point out how poeple can gain different inspirations and benefits from different, yet similar situations.  I'll post what i wrote first, then you'll see the link to the Austin Fit Article titled "Inspiration."

Oh yes, the other thing was that when the assistant editor told me that they were going to use my idea for the Inspiration issue, i was very excited because i thought that they were going to use my article, and do a lay out of the three running groups/coaches i mentioned.....which was my idea/point. When they ended up using me as one of the inspirational persons, it was a bit awkward (even though it was pretty fun).  Even at the last minute, at the photo shoot, I was really expecting, Joe Prusaitis (Tejas Trails), Gilbert Tuhabonye (Gilbert's Gazelle's),  and Steve Sisson and John Schrup (Rogue) to be there for a group photo.   That would have been so cool.  Oh well, it exists in my head.

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Austin Running Groups Provide 

Now that I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and am undergoing chemotherapy I've had the chance (time during infusions, blood draws and drug induced bed rest) to reflect on what these three Austin running groups have given me, in the past, and even now, as they continue to provide support above anything expected, and likely beyond what they are aware.  They are each led by local icons, whose personal stories and running resumes have brought this, and I'm sure many other runners, and readers, to tears.  Each group has a strong sense of community and respect for individualism, and each has provided, for many, the motivation and skill required to complete and even excel at difficult tasks including marathons, ultra-marathons and life.

  This is part of my story:                                           

In 2003, my beautiful daughter Adaline was unexpectedly born with severe brain damage leading to a life of cerebral palsy, dependent care, and seizures. Once I surfaced from the depths of 2 years of sadness, I joined the Rogue Moms marathon group for the 2005-2006 Austin Marathon Training season and what would be my first marathon.  This group, led by Steve Sisson (bios: http://www.roguerunning.com/aboutus_bios.php , http://www.texassports.com/sports/w-xc/mtt/sisson_stephen00.html) ,  and more directly coached by Carolyn Mangold taught me that I could live again, be happy, and enjoy friends and personal goals.  It also taught me that i could even thrive utilizing the methodological progression of fitness.

When the Mom's group split up I followed one of my closest new mom friends, Lisa, over to Gilbert's Gazelles, where my goal was to qualify for the Boston Marathon.  (Check out this bio on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilbert_Tuhabonye ) But, what I learned was the importance of heart, courage, and the safety and momentum of a pack.  Not to mention the benefit of a strong “core”.  This group, led by Gilbert Tuhabonye himself, provided me with the ability to Boston qualify, and more importantly, the courage to attempt to have a second child which my husband and I were able to do, 13 months after my running of "the Boston".  I will always credit this Gazelles group for my ability to conceive "of" my second child.

Four months after my healthy sweet baby boy Ace Henry “Selby” Howell was born, I returned to a Rogue Austin marathon group beginning in September 2007, which met only 2 times per week versus the 3 times per week of The Gazelles. I felt this would better fit into my schedule with a nursing newborn, a 3 year old in a wheelchair, and a full time job as a Physical Therapist (I know, ironic).  I joined this group with no real goals other than to get back to running with no intention of making any more friends.  I had already made many very close friends from the Rogue Moms and then The Gazelles.  But what do you know, but people in this group made their way into my life and onto my list of friends (before Facebook), even best of friends.  This group did indeed get me back to running and was the springboard for more to come.  My injury that season due to my overzealous attempt to return to "fast" pace running, which I blame on my speedy weight loss with the combination of nursing and distance running, lead me to seek out a way to continue running, and recover from injury, simultaneously. My first thought was…. How about shorter distances?  But, I quickly realized that shorter distances would just make me want to run faster.  What I felt I needed now was slower running... How about trail running?  I had heard it was difficult to run a fast pace on a trail.  I was a bit afraid of what would happen with my weak ankles, but later learned that this variety in surfaces was just what I needed, and that I was even good at it.   

This quest for running with a decreased focus on pace, and increased focus on less injury led me to my entrance into the unknown world of trail running, and my joining of Tejas Trails.  This group being led by Joe Prusaitis, one of Austin’s most seasoned trail, and ultra-runners (Please refer to his impressive ultra bio http://www.tejastrails.com/docs/JoeBio.html ) and assisted by Robert Heynen.  When I joined this group and this new world I had no idea what I was doing.  I was actually even confused most of the time, but found myself feeling very excited by the environment and the new challenges.  Ironically, and to my very pleasant surprise I found out that my good friend Lisa, whom I had followed from the Mom’s to The Gazelles, and with whom I had not run in 2 years, due to life circumstances, was also joining the Tejas Trails in order to train for the Bandera 50K!

This group, Tejas Trails, whose race plans may as easily be based on effort levels and scientific nutrition facts, as they could be based on the random gathering success of a "blind squirrel" (inside joke), gave me the ability to truly open my eyes during a run, and enjoy the thrill of taking it all in, even while at times running completely out of control.
I found my golden nut during my glorious 10 months of trail running just prior to my diagnosis of breast cancer.  During this time I completed my first “ultra”-marathon, achieved 4 top ten female finishes, and even one first place female (top 4 overall). What a thrill for me, coming off of road running where, for me, the only “competition” was against my own self, or the clock.  


As I trained for specific trail races with Tejas Trails, I had also simultaneously stayed on with my road running and by certain chance found myself training with the Team Rogue group coached directly by Steve Sisson.  For some reason, to my benefit, TR allowed me to attend 1x per week out of their scheduled 3x per week.  This was the perfect complement to my schedule, and I got to continue to hang out and run with good friends and motivated people.  I also got to continue to benefit from coaching ideas and motivational words by Steve, even though primarily from the sidelines. "Relentless Forward Progress". Words once used by Steve to describe what should be part of one’s race plan when running a 100 mile trail race.  I love those words, and have taken them on as my personal motto.  I hope also to have the chance again one day to perseverate on these words during another Ultra Run of my own.

What's sort of funny now, is that, other than living and enjoying life, simply continuing to show up for my Tuesday morning group run is one of the goals I have.  What's more interesting is that, while I am (I believe) the only person in the group currently going through chemotherapy, and not even training for a race, the new and current Team Rogue coach, John Schrup, (who met me only months prior to my diagnosis) treats me with interest equaled to that of the fastest runner, or those with the most potential.  I believe that he understands me, and what I need to continue my push toward relentless forward progress.

Emily Selby Howell 1.24.11

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Here's the link to the Austin Fit Article online:

http://www.austinfitmagazine.com/latest


One additional interesting note is that after the interview, i found out that Relentless Forward Progress is actually already a book written as a guide to ultrarunning.  I've purchased it and i'm about half way through.

Here's a review of the book:
http://running.competitor.com/2011/04/features/book-review-relentless-forward-progress_24965

3....Done....Hat Trick

Today was another day of mental challenge, initially.  Again, full time childcare, and then break for radiation.  Again the double wait scenario.  Wait for radiation, and then wait for the doctor.  I was having real trouble being patient and may have said something out loud to the nurse about being frustrated with having to wait so much lately and needing to go to take care of my children.  The other nurse came in and decided to bump me forward and see me in the dressing room.  She looked at how my skin was breaking down and she offered me a day off, to be made up next Tuesday.  I declined.  I could not fathom dragging this out even another day. 

Then the day turned.  No, not yet, actually.  Once the sitter came, I then waited one more hour in traffic on my way up north to one of my favorite trails to meet my trail group, Tejas Trails.  I had run into the coach, Joe, on Sunday, and he had mentioned that he still had my hat, and that he and the group would be out at one of my favorite trails on Thursday.  He had been holding it (my favorite light blue Port O’Conner visor) for me in his car since my last trail race:  The Pedernales Kapt’n Carls 30K in August 2010 (10 months ago), 2 weeks before “You have Cancer”.

I wanted to go out there to see the trail again, to see the group again, to get my favorite hat, and to talk with Joe a bit more.  All accomplished and i had a great time.  Unfortunately, I believe it was the hottest day yet.  I checked the current temp just before I got out of the car, and it was 101. 

Anyway, today I received this photo of the evening from my friend (thanks Chuck!) that had been posted on FB by Joe himself.  

Tejas Trails Group
Many of these people have run one or more 50 milers, and a few have run 100 milers! Very impressive bunch!

 I’m shown near the center, holding my hat.  But, that is NOT the first thing I noticed.  I noticed what was missing, since the last time i wore this hat, and what you all will likely notice.   I also have, somewhere, (Lisa or David do you have it?) a very similar photo taken in the same spot in Nov/December 2009 when I had 2 breasts and hair, and I was in dam good shape, I might add.  Anyway, it got me thinking how this past 10 months has been kind of like a crazy hat trick.   Things there one minute, gone the next.  Fortunately, most of the time, the stuff under the hat isn’t that important, anyway.  And, if the trick goes right, the items simply re-appear.  Like Magic.

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