Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I'm Back!

So embarrassed was I by my last post that I did not even send out an email notification, in hopes that no one would actually read it.  I almost took it off the air, but left it up due to this response from my good friend Cindy R.  “You know I am a proponent of telling the story honestly….(at this point I thought she was going to say...but maybe you should keep that shit to yourself.  But, she went on to say…) You still have your “spunky” voice coming through, and everything is TRUE TODAY. Maybe not Pollyanna, but that would not be realistic at this point.  We all know that you will pick yourself up in due time, so we can handle it.”  I liked this response very much, and I took it as a “go ahead” to allow myself a “mopey” period (period… Hmm. That'll be the only period i have this month).  I use the word mopey due to my recent play of this word in Words for Friends, where I stacked all but one letter on top of another word for a gain of 95 points! Not to mention that it seemed very applicable in this case.  I decided to go ahead and “run” with it, so I went ahead and did some hard core Moping from Monday Morning to Thursday at Noon (today, just now), which is when I had decided the cut off time would be.  I pretty much felt sad and physically heavy the whole time. I didn’t even brush my hair J.  I pretty much just layed there in my bed.  Maybe I played a few words.

I went back to the surgeon this morning and had the thing aspirated again.  I didn’t ask how much he took off, but it was about the same as last time.  It felt immediately better, just as it had the last time. And again, my spirits were immediately lifted.   I told the doc how I have been feeling: lethargic, down, and uncomfortable.  He said it all sounded like a very normal healing process.  He said it takes a while to heal from this surgery.   He also said that, while the area was a bit “tighter” than last time, which is good …a progression of the healing process…tissue contracture….he would likely have to aspirate it one more time.  He said “I wish I could do more to make this go faster, but it just takes time”.  We discussed, briefly, my decision to hold off a bit longer on the radiation due to the fact that the radiation nurse said that radiation would slow the healing of the mastectomy, and that I still cannot raise my arm above 100 degrees. The surgeon was again very nice and said that he did not believe I should be in a huge hurry to do the radiation before everything was ready, due to the fact that all of the pathology reports were so good.  He was very interactive and almost fatherly today.  It was nice. 

The Aspiration, the compassion, my 80 minute trail walk with a good friend and a pooch, the timing out of Mopey Period, and THIS…

 have all cheered me up. 

I will have a great weekend with my family and friends and I hope you all do as well.    



  1. Glad you're back and blogging all this honesty! Moping is just fine!
    Thanks to Cindy for the feedback!

  2. Hi, Emily! I've had a mopey week, too. I've decided that sometimes it's just too hard to maintain the happy face and you've got to indulge the mopey face for a bit. Your out-of-control drainage sounds AWFUL. Take it easy, and before you know it you'll be in the radiation phase and have blocked out the surgery phase.