Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Post Cancer Blues? Not Really.

Many marathon runners experience a phenomenon that many runners like to call post marathon depression  I prefer to call it post marathon blues due to the fact that I feel it is somewhat less serious than depression, as in the case of the “baby blues” or post partum blues.   

The focus that is required to train for and to run, a marathon requires much time and attention to detail regarding things such as schedule, nutrition, progress and recovery.  It becomes part of who you are.  In many ways, your purpose.  When a particular training season and/or race are over, it is time to take time away.  The time away often feels good at first but soon the urge to return to the lifestyle, the sense of purpose, and often the friends one has made, becomes overwhelming.

I know I've paralleled marathon and trail running training with cancer treatment on several occasions. 

Tonight I found myself sitting here thinking... “I should write a blog.... But, I really don't have much to report on... all I've really got to mention is my running.” I realized I haven't posted in 2 weeks. It’s almost as if I’ve unconsciously taken time away.  Time off.  I began to realize that this moment in time is very similar for me to the period of time one experiences between a big event such as a marathon or having a baby, and life as it becomes after that event. .  "After completing the marathon, runners move from the ‘unknown' to the 'known’, ‘Can I do this?’ to ‘I've done it.’”. (McCallister).  What’s funny is that I do not feel sad or blue in general.  Frankly I’m probably as happy as I’ve ever been.  I’m happy to be alive and I’m feeling stronger every day.  I’m bumping my focus on cancer treatment with my focus on running.  My purpose to make it through cancer treatment has been replaced with my purpose to live a fulfilling life, and have a happy family.  The only thing that brings on a sort of sad feeling, or feeling of disconnect is regarding the lack of blogging.   The blog has been a large part of my mental focus and has been integral to much of my support system for a year now.  It's kind of like a friend that I have made this season.    It's a purpose that I've grown attached to.

Maybe people won’t mind following my progress to the 50 miler in March.

I'm very near “I've done it”.  Two Herceptin left. One just before Thanksgiving, one just before Christmas, then the real New Year.

18 mile long run planned this weekend.  Should be around 43 for the week.  4/5 days trail.

1 comment:

  1. You should definitely keep the blog! Us readers will be fortunate to keep up with the trailrunning you after you've won the cancer fight. Cancer blogs are SO overrated.