Party's Over? or Just Begun?

 

 

 

Boob DeBub
Hey, at least mine are New?

Thanks to Everyone who helped make the last 2 years doable, and to those who made THIS PARTY GREAT!

 

Funny Richie won that one!

Just as I duct taped my old journals closed after Richie and I got back together for the last time, I plan for this to be the last I acknowledge boobs past.



Only10 long-run Saturdays left until I run the NYC Marathon with Fred's Team in support of Cancer Research!

It's time to get Serious about Running!

Here are a few things I've been doing to prepare:

 

Camelback Mountain
(Hot Guy in upper lefthand corner.)

 

Inspiration Point, McDowell Mountain
 

Chasing my friend Diane up these mountains!

 

No photos of my 12 mile solo road long run, 'cause who'd want to take a photo of that? Oh yeah, my last blog had a few....Anyway, according to the Fred's Team long run schedule I'm only "running" 4 miles behind schedule.  Luckily I'm used to making some significant mileage jumps from trail running, so I'm still hopeful that I'll be fine.  My primary barriers (PT lingo) to achieving successful long runs have been my less that preferable running nutrition (see cupcake example above), my shortage of running buddies...(HEY! Either get back to running, or get LESS FAST so you can run with me...or C'mon....just run with me....You know who you are!), (Thanks to Cindy S and John, and Diane for hangin' with me!) and my recent emphasis on enjoying life as a priority. 

The school year has officially started back up and this fact opens up a whole (familiar) world of schedules and consistency which may at times seem mundane, but are comfortable for me, and are super helpful for running schedules, progression, and planning.   I think this is going to help.  This, and hopefully some cooler weather in October? 

Please send me bios/info on the folks I'll be highlighting in this blog soon, if you haven't already.  I hope to begin that in the the next few weeks.  I'm looking forward to it!

There is still time to support my run and cancer research at Memorial Sloan Ketterling Cancer Center with your donation.

http://mskcc.convio.net/site/TR/FredsTeamEvents/Freds_Team?px=2099537&pg=personal&fr_id=1730


Emily

The Long Run Or...From Hills to Vale and Back Again

OK..... I'm in it....For It.

If I can endure 1 year, or 7.5 miles of the flattest of the flat, the straightest of the straight, I can do (runwalk) anything!



Reminds me of my first Mastectomy.



 

Remember....I was used to this:

Trail Hills

Me before mastectomy

This week I made it over a "couple of humps".  Sunday, I ran that FLAT terrain while on vacation the day after a "full" day at the beach (with my breast friends).  Then, on Tuesday,  I made it over the 10 mile long run milestone.  It was an interesting phenomenon.  On Monday I was having some shin/leg pains and I was saying to my Ultra Trail Running Training  Partner, Jack: "Jack,  I'm just not sure if I'm "cut out" for this running business."  He replied with, of course, a quote from Ultrarunner extraordinaire, Scott Jurek, "Not all pain is significant". Hmm.  (Damn you psychologists!) (Hey, there's a cant in significant, weird).

Well, on Tuesday my friends and I "set" out for a 9-10 mile long run and I'll admit I felt pretty horrible for most of the run.  (Hey, It's hot here, and I'm fat... wah).  I considered the Jurek quote several times during the run. We ended up completing the 10, extremely slow,  miles.  I felt happy to be done.  Where the phenomenon came in was later in the day when my leg pains had resolved, and I felt better than I have since before my breast reconstruction surgery.  It gave me an extra "boost" when my co-workers asked me how far I had run that morning and I "beamed" as I said 10 miles!  I realize I still have a long way to go with my training, but at least I've "built" a bit of a base, and I'm ready to PUSH it UP from here.  Any and all training TIPS are welcomed!

As you can see, I'm spending "equal parts" of my time preparing for the NYC marathon, and my Boob Debub Celebration.   (Trust me, I'm not "padding" the stats here.)

I hope many of  you will be able to participate!




Be Superfluous.
 Follow me on Twitter:
@BallotableTWTs

Lessons in Patience

One thing that I was pretty sure that cancer would not take from me was my patience.  Clicking off weeks and months of treatment and months and months of appointments, surgery and recovery, I often thought how this practice could help me become more patient as a person, and a more patient distance runner.  It takes patience to train for, and to run, long distances.    

Prior to cancer I was not really a fast runner.  My strengths as a runner were primarily that I was very patient, and very controlled, and “kind of strong” in general.  Some called it toughness. Whether it was physical or mental I'm not sure.  I was the queen of the perfect repeat, or of the negative split in workouts and many races.  I have many times relaxed and watched as competitors have run past me at mile 18 in order to pass them again at 25.  I’ve been able to control my pace to almost exact times.  I could follow a race plan to a “T”.  Once, I ran a marathon within 6 seconds of my goal time. Also, the average pace of the last 6 miles (of that marathon) was 1 minute faster than the first 20.  A negative split.  That was how I wanted it.  Partly because that's how I trained, and partly because when I had asked the head coach of my running group that time, Steve Sisson of Rogue, if a negative split marathon was possible and he said.. It's very difficult to do... but possible... it was then that I knew that negative splitting the marathon was what I needed to do.

During my cancer treatment I often tried to parallel treatment to distance/trail training in my mind.  It was something that gave me comfort due to the familiarity and the small feeling of control that it gave me.  Somehow, I could “pace” myself through it.  I also felt that if I couldn't train by running, at least I was going to be tuning and strengthening the important skills of patience and control.

Now, after over a year of this practice and 4 months of being back to running, I’m wondering… “Is it possible that, instead of tuning and strengthening my patience and control, I have used them up or let them go?”  Regarding control…I do know that this cancer treatment required me to “give in to THE METHOD” on more occasions than I was comfortable.  It did indeed require patience to continue for the 16 months I have endured, however, now I’m finding myself impatient and eager. I began to realize this about 6-8 weeks ago when I first started having some good runs.  After my warm up, or even before I was warm, I would find myself beginning to pick up the pace much earlier in the workout than I ever would have before. If I was doing repeats of something, like mile repeats, the 3rd or 4th repeat might be the fastest instead of the more desired last one.  This goes against everything that's always worked for me before in training.  I actually even used to lightly mock people like me who would run this way.  I've known it was happening and I've just let it.  I have NOT controlled myself.  I have given in to the temptation to run out of control.

This Saturday I ran a 25K trail race.  This weekend’s race was yet another lesson for me.  This race was supposed to be a training run for me. 

This was my RACE PLAN: Run the first 5 miles easy and then the last 10.5 miles at race pace and achieving a negative split overall.

Here’s how it went:

Mile 1: Too Fast.  *Fastest mile of My race,  but…. I’ll let that slide… everyone was fast. 

Mile 2: Too fast again.  Try to calm down. Try to follow plan…

Mile 3: Try to Pace….Try to be OK with letting these stupid Bitches pass me up this hill. They will pay later.

Mile 4: Running Balls Out! on the downhills!  Not patient! Not controlled…  But SO FUN!  I killed everyone near me for that next mile or two, that's for sure!  Really, I think that trying to keep up with me for those couple miles must have hurt some folks because I think only 1 guy passed me after that.  I did go on to pass maybe 9-10 people the rest of the race.  This all sounds kinda good, but, I kinda killed myself too.  AND I did not follow my plan...! I didn’t maintain control.

Around mile 6 I took some time to ease up and try to regroup and it helped some. It prevented a full on BONK, but some of the damage had been done. It was not going to be the negative split training run I had planned.

Pace and manage.  I don't know where this came from, but this was my mantra from mile 7-14.

At mile 14 I came up behind a woman who I had raced against, and beat, at the 20 miler that I won back in March 2010.  My Heyday J.  I was tired, but I had to catch and pass this person.  At this point this was a good thing for me. It gave me some focus.  Once I passed her, I was able to see the finish line and one person between me and the finish that looked like she could have been in my age group. There was about .5 miles to go.  I wasn’t sure if I had enough time to catch her, but I knew I would be angry at myself if she was in my category and I did not try.  So, I pretended that I heard my friends cheering for me, and I answered, for myself, a question that I had recently heard asked…Do you have something more to give?  And I passed her within 20 yards of the finish line.

Now that I think about it, it’s likely that this woman was just finishing her first loop of the 50K race that had started 30 minutes before my race….  (In the running world, this is probably pretty pathetic that I was trying to beat a girl in the race of twice the distance I was running. But hey, I didn’t know…and I could not take that chance anyway J). That last mile was my second fastest of my race.

Here I am holding my 2^nd place in age group award. 

 10^th female overall out of 36. 

Despite my disappointment that i did not follow my race plan,  I AM very happy with this.  This place is very similar to something I might have done just before cancer.  As a matter of fact, the last race that was put on by this group (Rogue) that I ran back in May 2010, I got 2^nd in my age group and 8^th female.  I know now that my body just wanted to see what it could do.  It was in a fight with my mind and this time I let it win.  

Cancer Rain Check?

Since I was diagnosed with breast Cancer in August 2010, many things have happened.  Likely very few of which I was aware.  I remember when I was pregnant with Ace I tried to stay connected to the world and my running friends the best I could under the circumstances.  I remember I would go out to the races that I would have potentially been running had I not been pregnant, and cheer.  I have memories of living that year.

Now that it has been over a year since I was diagnosed, and a year since treatment was in full swing, my memories of last year are very odd and even distorted.  It is often difficult for me to distinguish memories from the year before as being 2 years ago.  This time last year I was in full blown Chemotherapy with the “Red Devil”.  Unlike the past 5 or so years, my memories of last year do not revolve around running races, or training schedules.  They revolve around phases and stages of treatments, and feelings; both mental and physical.  Phases of weakness, and some nausea, hotflashes, and being cold too.   I remember baldness and certain hats that I wore.    I remember my Mom doing my dishes, and eating lots of Soup that friends would bring over by the gallons. I remember notes that friends wrote me and even certain texts. I remember when I started my blog, and even some of the entries.   I remember very little about work except the little presents or chocolates that my co-worker would leave for me after each treatment and that I wore scarves to keep my neck warm. I remember little about what other people were doing.  I remember nothing about politics or things going on in the world other than anything that had to do with the iphone.  I do however remember the approximate distances that I was calling my “long run” which occurred weekly on Tuesday Mornings before my chemotherapy, with the Team Rogue Group.  I remember people that were in the group at that time.  I remember how people were very nice to me and how some would look at me with a very confused look on their face.   I don’t blame them, of course. Many of them didn’t know why I looked the way I did, and  It’s not every day you see someone at a running group who is ghostly pale, bald, and currently undergoing chemotherapy. 

This past week I was running with one of the women who had been in the group at this time last year.  I’ve known of her for several years.  I’ve seen her around.  She’s much faster than me so we just never really ran together or got to know one another.  Anyway, she ran up behind me and began to run beside me and asked me how my Thanksgiving was.  It was funny to me because I initially had no idea she was talking to me.  I figured she was asking the faster guy to her right.  “Oh, me?”  I said something about how it was good and how happy I was that our kids were good in the car on the 14 hour drive to Alabama, and back. I decided at this point that I would attempt to keep the running up at her pace.  Why not?  It was cool outside… a good running temperature for me.  We began to discuss running, and running marathons, which is an unsurprisingly common topic of discussion on a run such as this.  She asked me what I was training for and I told her about the 50 mile trail run I have scheduled in March. We discussed trail running versus road running.  Neidra, the woman I was talking to, has done some trail running and has considered “going trail” J.  I said something to the effect of… I have very little desire anymore to run road marathons, at this time anyway… except the New York City Marathon.  I mentioned that one bummer about getting Cancer when I did, was that now I may not be able to make it into the New York Marathon.  You see, prior to Cancer, I had qualified for and completed the Boston Marathon.  I had run a 50k trail race and done well in several other trail races.  My next plans were to run a fast ½ marathon in order to qualify myself for guaranteed entry into the NY Marathon (which was the last Marathon I really had the desire to run) with the 3M marathon in January. After that I was going to run the 50 miler in March.  This was to happen in Jan-March 2011.   During cancer treatment (which ended up what happened instead) when I was running, I always had in the back of my mind the 50 mile trail race.  Many days that thought is what kept me going.  When I got back into training again in August/September 2011, I kept my focus on the trail race and decided that this is what I should do because this is what is driving me, AND…I don’t have to worry about running FAST.  Even when I first approached my road coach John Schrup with my 50 mile plan, he said he could support that, based on the same thinking….I would’t have to run fast, or anything. 

Now, I’m mentioning this to Neidra, how I’m a bit disappointed that now I may not ever be able to qualify for New York because they are going to change the qualifying times to be much faster….To be beyond my likely achievable zone.  Her response was…”well, couldn’t you get a Rain Check or something?” I liked that idea very much, and have played it out in my head several times since….

Dear ING NYC Marathon,

I was scheduled to qualify for your marathon in Jan 2011, but got cancer, and did treatment instead.  I feel sure that I would have qualified at that time because I needed to run a 1:44, and I had previously run a 1:48 during a training run, without actually racing.  I hear now that the qualifying times for my age/gender will be changed to 1:30 which is likely beyond my ability.  A friend of mine mentioned that you might be able to give me a rain check for the 1:44 time, so I thought I’d ask. 

Sincerely,

Emily H.

One of the difficult things about this is that there is still actually a very small, untimely, window of opportunity.  I could still qualify if I ran the 1:44 by 1/31/12.  There is a fast half marathon in Austin on 1/29/12.

The problem is, I’ve been running trail 4/5 days per week, and running slow for the most part.  

Grist State Park Alabama

 My primary goal is still the 50 miler and I’m supposed to run 35 miles the day before the mentioned half marathon race and 15 miles the day of the race.  But….could I squeeze this qualifying time in? without getting injured? and without derailing my primary running goal?.... if the rain check idea doesn’t pan out?

4 hour 20 minute trail run in the rain completed last weekend.

15 mile trail race/training run this weekend.

It Happened!

On Thursday, October 13.  Merely, one day after I wrote the Dreaming in Touchscreen Blog.  I posted that blog almost 2 weeks after I wrote it due to LIVING :) so much and being so excited about what i'm about to tell you.

Two things actually happened that day.

Firstly, in the evening after work, I ran 2 x 10 minute intervals  on a beautiful section of trail that I'd not seen before, and I actually felt good. Not like TFS, not just O.K.  Good. (Breathe) What a relief.

Secondly, later that night, I had a running dream.  Not the kind where you are running away from something and you can't run fast enough.  Not the struggling to move forward kind.  The kind where I'm running free and I feel good.

My first running friend,
Cindy, who now won't run
on the road unless it is to get
to the trail.

My latest convert...Jack

I woke up on the morning of October 14 thinking exactly this...It Happened!

That week I ran 29 trail miles plus 8 road.  The following week I ran 28 trail miles and 10 on the road with no trouble with my long run now up to 14 miles on the trail.  








One week after my dream, I found myself actually living my dream as I was flying down those rocky, technical, hills in the dark with my old running/training friend of 18 months ago, David J.

David, who is a self-proclaimed transformed person (in part due to trail running) and, physically, a  changed man visible to all, has, in the past 18 months completed the Rocky Raccoon 50 mile trail race, a Grand Canyon Rim2Rim2Rim run of 48 miles, several other 30K races in the Texas summer heat, and is scheduled to run the Cactus Rose 50 miler on October 30th! Go David!
(You too, JoAnna, and Jeanette, and Kuss for your 50 milers and to Lyndsay and Tonya and Justin for your 100 milers! )

I felt honored and excited to be running, and almost keeping up, with him again (even though he was taking it easy due to his taper). :) Thanks, David.