Post Cancer Blues? Not Really.

Many marathon runners experience a phenomenon that many runners like to call post marathon depression  I prefer to call it post marathon blues due to the fact that I feel it is somewhat less serious than depression, as in the case of the “baby blues” or post partum blues.   

The focus that is required to train for and to run, a marathon requires much time and attention to detail regarding things such as schedule, nutrition, progress and recovery.  It becomes part of who you are.  In many ways, your purpose.  When a particular training season and/or race are over, it is time to take time away.  The time away often feels good at first but soon the urge to return to the lifestyle, the sense of purpose, and often the friends one has made, becomes overwhelming.

I know I've paralleled marathon and trail running training with cancer treatment on several occasions. 

Tonight I found myself sitting here thinking... “I should write a blog.... But, I really don't have much to report on... all I've really got to mention is my running.” I realized I haven't posted in 2 weeks. It’s almost as if I’ve unconsciously taken time away.  Time off.  I began to realize that this moment in time is very similar for me to the period of time one experiences between a big event such as a marathon or having a baby, and life as it becomes after that event. .  "After completing the marathon, runners move from the ‘unknown' to the 'known’, ‘Can I do this?’ to ‘I've done it.’”. (McCallister).  What’s funny is that I do not feel sad or blue in general.  Frankly I’m probably as happy as I’ve ever been.  I’m happy to be alive and I’m feeling stronger every day.  I’m bumping my focus on cancer treatment with my focus on running.  My purpose to make it through cancer treatment has been replaced with my purpose to live a fulfilling life, and have a happy family.  The only thing that brings on a sort of sad feeling, or feeling of disconnect is regarding the lack of blogging.   The blog has been a large part of my mental focus and has been integral to much of my support system for a year now.  It's kind of like a friend that I have made this season.    It's a purpose that I've grown attached to.

Maybe people won’t mind following my progress to the 50 miler in March.

I'm very near “I've done it”.  Two Herceptin left. One just before Thanksgiving, one just before Christmas, then the real New Year.

18 mile long run planned this weekend.  Should be around 43 for the week.  4/5 days trail.

iBlog

While my mind is currently "iClouded" with random information,  I will make this attempt at a direct blog, for once.  We'll see how that goes.

This week has been a great one, really.  I've spent most of my week literally,  "in character" in my mind.  That character being my recently bedazzled alter ego, "POW" Howell. 

"POW" Howell is a female boxing superhero, of sorts.  When created, she was intially,  "Fightin' Cancer, Bitch!"  She quickly realized that that fight was going very well and so decided to take on "Laziness",  as well.

"Are you Lazy?  I'm gonna POW you!"  She would say.

This character was apparently being found lazy at some point.

This one was found doing NO wrong and ultimately knocked "POW" plum out with her super beauty.

The parts of the week that I spent in my usual character also went very well.



 I'm feeling better each week.  Running is getting easier.  Hmm. I wonder why?

I'm up to 16.5 mile long run on the trail,  and last week was my highest weekly mileage, since cancer, at 41 miles.  Mostly trail.  

I went to the GAP today, and it barely phased me.  I stayed in my own world (iPhone).   They didn't even test my blood levels, so i couldn't even perseverate on that.  I basically ate my salad and left.  Two more Herceptin Treatments.  I'll be done before Christmas.

The only thing that kind of left me a bit unsettled this week was the lack of feedback on the Sharkboy blog.  I'm probably digging a hole here, but I want to leave readers with 2 possible morals to that story:

Never make light of another person's tragedy. (The obvious one).

and.....

Disability and Despair can be FUNNY.  Particularly, if they are your own. (Apparently).